Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bleh and Bleh-er: Heineken and Beck's Light

I feel like people were super excited about Heineken back in the day. I certainly drank it enough times but never really thought about it one way or the other. I just thought it was fun to say "heiny."

To put thought into it: it pours a crystal clear light amber (apple juice lookalike), with nice head at first that instantly disappears. It smells skunky, which I guess is what people mean when they say some beer smells like pot. I never noticed this, but perhaps it is the skunkyness. After a while the skunk smell lessens and is replaced with tart-sweet blandness. It's easy to drink but not very tasty.

The most interesting thing about Heineken? From Wikipedia: "Currently, Heineken uses a red star as part of its corporate logo. Nevertheless, in this case the red star has no connection to socialism, but only refers to European brewers in the middle ages. In fact, the red star on a Heineken product represents the symbol, a red star, that would hang outside of a brewing house to show potential customers that the beer was ready to drink after going through the brewing process."

Who knew? C-

Now for Beck's Light.

I realize that these are both drinks from countries I have not navigated to before, at least as a part of this blog. While I can't say I've heard much about Dutch beers, Germany certainly has a great reputation. But you know what? Their bottles are BORING looking. No pun-ridden names, no kitschy labels. It's like they have to rely on the product itself! I'll try some good ones soon, I swear.

Beck's Light is the lightest beer available with just 64 calories a bottle. It pours surprisingly dark - still a light and clear amber, but a shade darker than the Heineken. No head or lacing. Even more skunky than the Heinken, that is the main smell and taste that stands out. But overall, it is just watery and bland. It also has no alcohol content listed on it. It does not say "non alcoholic" but there's no ABV listed.

However, Beck's Light gets a D rather than an F. It's 2 saving graces?
64 calories! You could have 2 and that's still less than 1 Heineken and most beers in general.

Plus, the Beck's website has some really enjoyable trance-y kind of music. Oooh...Now it's getting to be more New Age-y. Forget it. It's going down to a D- just for that. Ha!



  1. You get more and more hilarious each day.

  2. oh man, whenever I buy beer (very very rarely these days), it's always Heineken light! I know I'm not as beer-sophisticated as you, but I think it's really good! And I think it's only 100 cals for a bottle (not as "light" as Beck's but stlll pretty low-cal).