Sunday, January 9, 2011

Kid Rock's Badass

Well, I don't know much about Mr. Rock. While he is a Detroit native, his genre is..."Southern rock-rap?" Kid Rock created American Badass Beer and the Michigan Brewing Company contracted it. He also wrote a song called American Badass. Sample lyrics:
Pass that bottle around
Got the rock from Detroit
Soul from Motown
The underground stoned fuckin pimp
With tracks that mack and slap back the whack
Never gay, no way, I don't play with ass.
Charming, amiright? Read a few song lyrics, he is very into his heterosexuality. And he does enjoy a bottle and created a beer to enjoy with friends. His words, "People that like premium beers and Guinness is their choice, they will not like this. I want this to be like the beer I drink. You grab it, you share it with your friends, it's refreshing, it's cold, it gives you a good buzz. Done."This is the palest beer I have ever seen. It's slightly yellowish water with a 3 finger sudsy head and lots of carbonation. The smell? Like a watery macro lager. The taste? Like a watery macro lager. This could be the beer for the person who does not like beer, since it's more water than anything. Faint grass, faint apple, faint earthy afer-taste. This beverage is very thin. Have I mentioned watery?It's somewhat drinkable, since there is not much flavor, and relatively little alcohol at 4.2%. In a nutshell, this is bad. Not badass. Not even close.
I'll give it a D, because at least this will maybe stiumlate the Michigan economy for a minute.

In my mind, good beer will be enjoyed with good music. And all with Michigan pride:
How about humming along with a Huma-Lupa Licious to the Marvelettes?
Or savor a Bell's Special Double Cream Stout whilst enjoying my girlfriends Slumber Party:

Or Dragonmead's Under the Kilt Wee Heavy whilst skanking to Mustard Plug?

Michigan! America's High-Five. I don't know where this surge of Michigan love is coming from, but I think I'll thank Kid Rock.

8 comments:

  1. You're so awesome! And that is the grossest looking beer I've ever seen. I know nothing about beer and even I knew that was too pale to be good. Ugh. Also, one more (among many) complaint about Kid Rock is that he once rhymed "things" with "things" in a song. What a knob!

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  2. it looks like ginger ale, not beer!

    also, because i feel obligated to bring up his lyrical prowess in "All Summer Long" any and every time Mr. Rock is mentioned:

    "And we were trying different things, We were smoking funny things"

    Rhyming "things" with "things"??? Genius.

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  3. Oh my god, are we sisters, by any chance?! I'm so glad Sara and I both talked about the exact same thing. It's such a psychic night!

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  4. You 2 are brilliant. Thanks for enlightening me even more with his lyrics. My mind is blown.

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  5. Meh. So, he's made water with essence de beer :-p Looks gross...sounds gross but then I'm more of a Boch Girl (HEY! I think I'll make that my handle!- cool)so I'll just file this with Bud, Miller and all the others... in the "if its cold and free I'll drink it" folder - otherwise count me out! You are correct about the economic factor - as least he's created a few jobs with it - always a good thing.

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  6. ...ignore this line....it is just a test...beeeeeeeeeppp

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  7. Yeah this looks pretty gross. I would much rather have a ginger ale.

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