Sunday, January 9, 2011

Kid Rock's Badass

Well, I don't know much about Mr. Rock. While he is a Detroit native, his genre is..."Southern rock-rap?" Kid Rock created American Badass Beer and the Michigan Brewing Company contracted it. He also wrote a song called American Badass. Sample lyrics:
Pass that bottle around
Got the rock from Detroit
Soul from Motown
The underground stoned fuckin pimp
With tracks that mack and slap back the whack
Never gay, no way, I don't play with ass.
Charming, amiright? Read a few song lyrics, he is very into his heterosexuality. And he does enjoy a bottle and created a beer to enjoy with friends. His words, "People that like premium beers and Guinness is their choice, they will not like this. I want this to be like the beer I drink. You grab it, you share it with your friends, it's refreshing, it's cold, it gives you a good buzz. Done."This is the palest beer I have ever seen. It's slightly yellowish water with a 3 finger sudsy head and lots of carbonation. The smell? Like a watery macro lager. The taste? Like a watery macro lager. This could be the beer for the person who does not like beer, since it's more water than anything. Faint grass, faint apple, faint earthy afer-taste. This beverage is very thin. Have I mentioned watery?It's somewhat drinkable, since there is not much flavor, and relatively little alcohol at 4.2%. In a nutshell, this is bad. Not badass. Not even close.
I'll give it a D, because at least this will maybe stiumlate the Michigan economy for a minute.

In my mind, good beer will be enjoyed with good music. And all with Michigan pride:
How about humming along with a Huma-Lupa Licious to the Marvelettes?
Or savor a Bell's Special Double Cream Stout whilst enjoying my girlfriends Slumber Party:

Or Dragonmead's Under the Kilt Wee Heavy whilst skanking to Mustard Plug?

Michigan! America's High-Five. I don't know where this surge of Michigan love is coming from, but I think I'll thank Kid Rock.


  1. You're so awesome! And that is the grossest looking beer I've ever seen. I know nothing about beer and even I knew that was too pale to be good. Ugh. Also, one more (among many) complaint about Kid Rock is that he once rhymed "things" with "things" in a song. What a knob!

  2. it looks like ginger ale, not beer!

    also, because i feel obligated to bring up his lyrical prowess in "All Summer Long" any and every time Mr. Rock is mentioned:

    "And we were trying different things, We were smoking funny things"

    Rhyming "things" with "things"??? Genius.

  3. Oh my god, are we sisters, by any chance?! I'm so glad Sara and I both talked about the exact same thing. It's such a psychic night!

  4. You 2 are brilliant. Thanks for enlightening me even more with his lyrics. My mind is blown.

  5. Meh. So, he's made water with essence de beer :-p Looks gross...sounds gross but then I'm more of a Boch Girl (HEY! I think I'll make that my handle!- cool)so I'll just file this with Bud, Miller and all the others... in the "if its cold and free I'll drink it" folder - otherwise count me out! You are correct about the economic factor - as least he's created a few jobs with it - always a good thing.

  6. ...ignore this is just a test...beeeeeeeeeppp

  7. Yeah this looks pretty gross. I would much rather have a ginger ale.